An untitled poem that I wrote

I've spent a lifetime in hell,
Interviewing people who have plenty to tell;
Some are criminals, others just in sin fell,
And when I told them my story, they only said "well!"

After I've known all the misfortunes of human kind,
To rise back to heaven was the plan in mind.
But there was a god I couldn't find,
And back to hell I returned, where they called me blind.

Books of religions, philosophy, science and politics I read,
Looking for proof that seemed thinner than a thread.
I found no answer, and tired I turned to bed,
Undid my dress, exposed the thighs I dread.

Closing my eyes wasn’t that tough a mission,
For that no one needs permission!
But still I thought of it, him, it, my ambition,
An oh wait, I still felt that, the aggression!

Believing was hard for me,
God's signals seemed to silent to be!
But in hell I'd rot, I needed to be free,
To heaven fly, like to roses flew a flea.

Then suddenly a thought crossed my mind!
If heaven wont welcome me, and hell I cant abide,
Then maybe earth is where I my comfort find.
But then I wonder, was I that blind?

Packed my bags, to earth I took a walk.
Arrived, looked around, and terribly needed to talk,
Tried this and that, but they stared and asked "who are you trying to stalk!"
I turned my back and left, oh I was someone to mock!

A day passed, a week, a month, a year, then two,
And every morning from the trees I drank the dew.
Then one day towards me came a few
Fellows who asked me about you.

They didn’t know my heart broke when you left,
When to heaven you rose, stealthily like in a theft!
And then I took the chance and shed a tear from my chest.
And then they saw it, and knew how badly to heaven I needed to get.

The first one wiped my tear away,
The second had few things to say:
"Dear child, or maiden, if I may,
Take you, by the hand, to a tour, just for a day."

Nothing had I to lose,
But what was it I had to choose,
A day of research on how to heaven take a cruise,
Or a day of knowledge with my fellow, Mr. blues?

Accompanying my new friend, I left.
Mountains, rivers, seas, we crosst,
Until we reached the end where he endlessly wept,
As from the mountain's peak he simply leapt!

Appalled I surely was!
Suicide wrecked all my grasp of laws!
He lived a life I thought had no flaws,
But death to him had better be close.

Still staring at where he stood,
Suddenly I saw there an envelope of wood,
That seemed to have been there for good.
Then I bent and opened it, and read all that I understood.

It talked about this self sacrificing love,
Where peace no longer implied that dove.
At once I found myself in a magnificent grove,
Where you stood there, saying, give me your troubles to solve!

I didn’t know whether to smile or to sob,
But it seemed like I have finally finished my job.
But was I to allow you myself to rob,
And in your arms never to throb?

I approached you with a smiling face,
And in your arms I threw my grace.
You greeted me with your warm embrace,
And all my wounds, said you will erase.

You took me in you arms and said,
"I know I hurt you, I know you desired to be dead,
But your journey you had to tread,
So that you'll appreciate what's to happen in this eternity ahead."

It seems to me experience was highly rated,
But now I guess I used to take it for granted,
And so, from now on the song I hear is the one chanted
By my good fellows back when to heaven I in vain anticipated.